


Rekindle

by desole (tearyxz)



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 13:47:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5930622
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tearyxz/pseuds/desole
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Is it childish that Jinyoung’s still scared of the dark?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rekindle

 

Is it childish that Jinyoung’s still scared of the dark?

No, not like that. He’s not that much of a wimp, and no of course he doesn’t go all stiff and terrified when the sun sets and darkness looms. There is nothing frightening about the night. It’s natural, and there are always stars and the moon to guide him when he feels lost. And when the clouds roll in for a storm, the dramatic flashes of lightening serve the same purpose.

See, Jinyoung’s not afraid like that. So perhaps it would be inaccurate to say he fears the dark.

What Jinyoung truly fears is the absence of light altogether, of being trapped in an escapeless landscape of obsolete darkness, with nothing to comfort, no one to show him the way out.

Jaebum has always been Jinyoung’s light, his flame of hope.

~~

Jaebum’s always had a bit of a possessive streak. He’s always had the fiery desire within to claim, to protect, to snatch up what is dear to him and hold it close and never let go.

Jaebum’s a bit of a hypocrite, really, because he’s aware his jealousy is irrational and unfair. He knows better than anyone the double standards he sets, that his anger is unjustified when he himself commits the same transgressions.

But Jaebum can’t help it, either, because even though he’d never even admit it to himself, fear is his true motivation. A fear of not being able to breathe, because Jaebum genuinely feels as if he’s suffocating when Jinyoung isn’t near, when Jinyoung clings to someone else for comfort.

Jinyoung has always been Jaebum’s air.

~~

The thing about fire and air, is that they must maintain a delicate balance. Fire cannot flare up without oxygen to feed its hunger, yet with a single gust of wind too strong to handle the flame will be put out. Oxygen seeks to feed the embers, slowly and patiently until the orange glow erupts into warmth and light. But once out of control the fire consumes unconditionally, sucking everything up from its surroundings until there is nothing left to consume, only thing remaining a mutually assured destruction.

~~

They don’t fight often, but when they do it’s as if the entire world is going to come crashing down, everything bursting into flames as the wildfire spreads uncontrollable. It’s always visible from a mile off, tension palpable whenever they’re in the same room together. And yet there’s nothing they can do as it keeps building, pressure growing to a point where it’s become unbearable.

“I’m sick of this!” Jinyoung hisses at Jaebum, who grabs Jinyoung’s shirt to pull them nose to nose when he tries to back away. “Let go!”

“ _You’re_ sick of this?!” Unlike Jinyoung, Jaebum’s voice isn’t a menacing hiss but an enraged boom, and Jinyoung can’t help but wince, no matter how hard he tries to hold his ground. “I’m not the one acting like an irresponsible five year old!”

“What have I done that’s irresponsible?” Jinyoung shoots back, incredulous, hands coming up to fist the front of Jaebum’s shirt as well. Except unlike usual, he’s not attempting to pull him closer, but push away instead.

“Coming back at 2 a.m. isn’t irresponsible?” Jaebum’s having none of it, smacking Jinyoung’s hands away from his shirt only to go back to grip his shoulders tightly.

“We had this morning off!” Jinyoung’s voice is outraged but his expression only reflects hurt as he attempts to explain.

“You didn’t tell anyone!”  
“Im Jaebum!” Jinyoung finally snaps, forcibly shoving Jaebum away with success this time. He stumbles back a few steps, eyes blazing. “Do you think I would ever jeopardize the team like that? Who do you think I am? I told manager-hyung! I had permission!”

“Well you didn’t tell me!” Jaebum bellows, face red with fury and his voice echoes through the walls.

And then there’s just silence, because they’ve finally hit the heart of the issue. This isn’t about Jinyoung being irresponsible and putting himself before the team, or Jaebum being jealous that Jinyoung went to a club and got hit on. They all like to blame it on such things, but they both know these are just excuses. Not entirely false, because Jinyoung _should’ve_ told Jaebum and Jaebum _is_ overprotective and possessive, but that’s not the point.

Jaebum’s panting slightly after his outburst, still glaring fiercely but there’s a slight hesitancy to his stance now, leaning forward as if he wants to approach but feet still planted firmly in place.

Jinyoung only stares at Jaebum, a bitter smile beginning to twist his lips.

“Of course. Because it’s always about you.” When Jinyoung finally speaks again his voice is soft, and they should be cold and barbed but there’s only a deep weariness, a resigned fatigue. “Had it not occurred to you that maybe there was a _reason_ why I didn’t tell you? That maybe I just wanted some space to _myself_ and _breathe_? That maybe it had _nothing_ to do with you and everything to _me_ , that I just needed to get away?”

Jinyoung’s last words come out almost as a whisper, and just the slightest bit desperate. It’s followed by more silence as Jaebum tries to read the hidden message in Jinyoung’s eyes, but can only find the hurt, exasperation, exhaustion, and Jaebum’s own sense of feeling wronged being reflected back at him.

“Always about me.” This time Jaebum’s voice is no longer booming, but a low rumble, dangerous. “Me, worrying about the sick idiot running around in the middle of the night who had just managed to get his fever to break hours before. Who probably just made himself more sick. Right, I forgot.”

Jinyoung flinches, face crumpling as he steps forward, mouth opening and ready to explain, but Jaebum has reached his limit. He knows if this doesn’t stop, he’ll end up saying something hurtful.

But no, hurtful things have already been said. He’ll end up saying something he doesn’t mean, something he’ll regret, something he’ll wish he could take back but can’t.

So he chooses the lesser evil.

“Get out.”

Jinyoung stops mid-step, eyes widening, glistening, and Jaebum has to turn away or else he’ll cave.

“Go.”

It isn’t until the door clicks shut that they both realize Jaebum had kicked Jinyoung out of his own room.

~~

The thing about fire and air is, they’re incredibly resilient. Air, of course, is everywhere. True vacuums don’t seem to exist on this earth, and, well, oxygen is plentiful enough. Not everywhere, necessarily, but it almost always manages to find its way into every nook and cranny, sinking into the depths of the ocean.

And fire, well, a blaze may be difficult to put out, but don’t underestimate even the smallest flame. Fires have a habit of rekindling with the slightest spark, a smoldering pile of ashes just waiting for that one perfect gust of wind to start up again.

One dormant ember, weak and pulsating but still hanging on, forever waiting.

Because that gust of wind will always come back.

~~

When Jinyoung carefully pushes his bedroom door back open, he doesn’t know what exactly he expected to see. But whatever it was, it definitely wasn’t Jaebum sitting on the floor with his back against the bed, clutching Jinyoung’s sweatshirt to his chest with his face buried in the fabric.

Jaebum stiffens when he hears Jinyoung’s steps approaching, but then he’s right beside him, sinking down to curl up with his arms wrapped around his knees. There’s space between them, though, and Jaebum knows Jinyoung hates it as much as he does.

They sit in silence for a long while, breathing slowing becoming synchronized.

“We’re both still as stubborn as ever, aren’t we?” Jinyoung finally breaks the silence and Jaebum finally looks up. He’s immediately struck with worry, because Jinyoung’s clearly been crying and there’s a sheen of cold sweat around his forehead. He remembers that Jinyoung’s still sick, and wonders with slight panic how he could’ve forgotten when that was one of the (many) reasons why they were even in this mess right now. Jaebum’s heart almost breaks at how vulnerable Jinyoung looks, and he’s ready to tear himself apart with guilt.

But then, Jinyoung is smiling. It barely qualifies as one, and it’s shaky, wavering, but it’s there, and it takes Jaebum’s breath away because he can read Jinyoung’s eyes this time. There’s understanding, unspoken apologies, forgiveness, and a care so deep it’s only possible because some of it is Jaebum’s own reflected back.

“On three?”

Jaebum tries to swallow past the knot in his throat but can’t quite manage it, so he nods almost imperceptibly instead. And it’s okay, because Jinyoung can read his eyes too.

“One.”

“Two.”

“Three.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I love you.”  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
A/N: Please comment if you enjoyed, it makes my day <3  
  
[Sequel](http://lahdeedah000.livejournal.com/11205.html)


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